I feel anxious and unproductive today. Even though I just spent hours applying for jobs, I feel unfulfilled. I feel like I am just wasting time, wasting my youth. I postponed my second therapy appointment, I know why I did it. My pride got in the way, I am still unable to ask for help. Especially from my family, they don’t get it, they don’t understand. They love me and they try real hard to see, other times I am invisible or I try to be. I have an extreme fear and anxiety with my cell phone. I don’t like outside contact with the world, the more my phone rings and chimes the more I cringe. The more I try to understand “why”, why do I feel this way and how can I fix this. I don’t care as I go on my quest to try. Try to make my life meaningful. Try to be happy and enjoy before my feelings take over me. Take over my mind. Take over my thoughts. Take over my soul.

My One True Self